Relationships

Most people don’t come to therapy because of one difficult relationship. They come because they’ve noticed the same thing happening again. The same kind of partner. The same row in different words. The same habit of giving too much, or never quite letting anyone close, or shrinking yourself to keep the peace and then quietly resenting everyone for it.
 

Those patterns rarely begin where they show up. We learn how to love, and how to protect ourselves from love, long before we have any say in it. What kept you safe at seven can still be running your relationships at forty five. Part of our work together is getting curious about where your ways of relating came from, what they were protecting you from, and whether they still serve you now.
 

Underneath all of this sits the relationship you have with yourself. If you are harsh with yourself, you will either expect harshness from others or spend your life trying to earn your way out of it. Learning to treat yourself with honesty and some kindness is not an indulgence. It changes what you will accept, what you ask for, and who you let in.